The Spirit of the Lord ... How incredible ...

A lot of you know that I make a habit of studying over the summer (mostly stuff that people think is boring). The Spirit has moved me off of what I thought I was going to read this summer (mostly Pope Benedict XVI's theology, ...). So instead, I get inspired to start reading Millard Erickson's Christian Theology and to start studying Greek. On this track, I was also inspired to apply to Seminary - Fuller Southwest specifically. Things have eerily lined up together to show a path to seminary and to a theological education.

My Episcopal friends puzzle at the fact that I would attend Fuller, a decidedly NON Anglo-Catholic seminary, and certainly not liberal at all. During this summer, I've discovered that theologically, I'm a lot more conservative than I thought I was. After reading ample amounts of N.T. Wright and John Stott, along with one or two Oxford Movement tracts, I find a lot of affinity with conservative approaches to theology. This isn't to say that I'm not inclusive or a total fundamentalist. Unfortunately, Evangelical theology has too often been associated with fundamentalism. The book I'm currently chewing through is How to Be Evangelical Without Being Conservative by Roger Olson. It's actually confirming and further strengthening my decision to apply for (and if admitted attend) Fuller Seminary. I found affinity with the fact that my theology and approach to things is very Evangelical. Olson mentions that Evangelical Faith is built on four "isms": biblicism, conversionism, crucicentrism and activism, all four things resonate deeply within me and are parts of my faith that are invaluable and essential.

So needless to say, the Spirit has been moving, very strongly. Recently while attending a service at Phoenix First Assembly. Let me digress for a moment by saying - yes I do church hop, because sometimes I need a dose of contemporary music and charismatic worship. It is the time I use to spend with God in a less structured worship setting. For the first time in years I broke down in tears and worshiped the Lord and began to pray aloud to Him and thanking Him for everything He's done for me. It was during a song called "Hosanna" by Hillsong - when these words were sung, I could do nothing but break down and cry and worship.

"Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like You have loved me

Break my heart for what brakes Yours
Everything I am for Your Kingdom's cause
As I walk from now into eternity"

God has broken my heart for what breaks his and that is why my passion for ministry to gays and lesbians is so strong. People wonder where I get the energy from, well, it's because it breaks God's heart to see people suffering and being rejected and shown not the love that he showed us by sending his Son to die on the cross, but the hate that comes from the devil. I feel strongly called to work in this area and to help heal the rifts and divisions that have been caused.