Vacation / Retreat Reflection Day 1

The vacation isn't off to a very promising start. Barry hurt his back this week, so he's laid up. I've decided to hang around the valley until Sunday after Church. I'll go off to Los Angeles after brunch with the friends. But I am starting my reading and reflection on time. This week is going to be a time for sabbath and discernment. Normally I'm very busy and doing all kinds of stuff over the weekend. But this weekend is a bit of a change - a little time off.

So this vacation, like I said is a reading retreat, and a time to just read, pray, meditate and encounter some different thoughts and take time to listen to God. The reading program is pretty strenuous, but definitely manageable and not taxing. Right now I'm finishing up True Story: A Christianity Worth Believing In by James Choung. Some of you would be surprised at what Evangelicals have to teach crusty Episcopalians like us about preaching the Gospel. This isn't the typical bridge diagram:



It's something a lot more. It really reflects a Gospel we can believe it. It is a gospel that emphasizes conversion as well as living out the call to discipleship. It's about understanding what really happened. It's a great read. As I read it, it is a great narrative of the basic message of the Gospel. It isn't high theology, it isn't philosophical, but it's a great "get down to basics". We Episcopalians sometimes get stuck in our ivory towers and forget to come down. This helps us do that.

I am reflecting on this right now as I'm discerning more and more of how to direct the Integrity ministry at Trinity Cathedral and working with Young Adults in general. I see a lot of apathy, I see a lot of people just waiting to get out of this world, when that's not the point. Disciples are meant to get their hands dirty and work in the trenches. Recently, I was reading some information about the social work career, and their little advertising thing was "on any given day, a Social Workers is helping ..."

What if we put out something like that ... on any given day a Christian is feeding the homeless, helping a single mother raise her child, helping someone overcome addiction, ... . There's a lot of nasty stuff that's going on not just out there in the secular world, but also in here, in our little Church world. What are we doing to change it? When many of our young adults lose interest and leave the Church only to become an asset for someone else? Anglicanism has a great message for the world, and taught correctly could serve to heal a lot of what's going on in our country.

People call me conservative, strict, evangelical, whatever ... but the point is we are dealing with a dying Church and no one is listening, absolutely no one! When confronted with the fact that Jesus is the Way, the Truth and the Life, most Episcopalians shudder in disgust at such an "evangelical" or "fundamentalist" statement. When confronted with the fact that Jesus demands absolute surrender from us, we shudder again at the thought of not being able to do what we want when we want. Anytime someone wants to get a fire underneath the belly of Episcopalians for evangelism, we're called infiltrators from the fundamentalists.

Positioned correctly, the Episcopal Church is in the best position to grow right now and what are we doing about it? We're putting out ridiculously stupid and innane commercials about cutting carrots. We're letting people like John Shelby Spong teach a Christianity so watered down that anyone that believes in it might as well be a member of every religion. We're driving out Christians who want to take a stand on traditional doctrine and faith in exchange for a faith that means nothing and changes no lives.

If this is the way that the Episcopal Church is going, we will soon lose our scriptural warrant to exist. We will no longer have the warrant of a Church because we are no longer following the Great Commission, we will no longer have the warrant of disciples of Christ because we are not making a change and doing what we need to do to build God's Kingdom here on earth.

The Product Recommendation ...

I rarely do this ... that is publicly recommend or endorse something. But I saw the previews of the upcoming ESV Study Bible (yes - I get book previews), and I have to say it is a really impressive Study Bible. It uses the English Standard Version translation which is an excellent word-for-word literal translation. Even though it is very literal it is also very understandable. It is also a lot less clunky that the NRSV translation that we use in the Episcopal Church. Plus, the study notes look like a good mix of historical information and practical application. I've pre-ordered a copy for myself. Check it out!

Forgiving the Word: Learning to Love God's Word Again

Forgiving the Word:
Healing the Hurt and Learning to Love God’s Word Again

The Bible is the world’s best selling book. In fact, contrary to common Episcopal thinking, the Bible is the ultimate authority in our faith, not the Book of Common Prayer (which also happens to be a heavily Bible based book). Billions of people around the world use the Bible to help them understand what is going on in their lives, how they can overcome problems, and how they can better love their neighbor. The early scriptural authors also thought a great deal about what they knew then as scripture. In Timothy’s letter, we read:

“All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work.” 2 Timothy 3:16-17, ESV

The New Testament often quotes passages from the Old Testament, and our Book of Common Prayer draws many of its texts and responses from scripture. But for some of us, it’s not so easy to respect the Bible or hold it in high esteem, or even to pick it up and read it. Some of us have been hurt by the very book which is supposed to help us on our journey as followers of Jesus.

Just as the Bible can and has been used to inspire, to teach, and to train people in righteousness, it has also been used to hurt people. Not just gays and lesbians, but countless others have been hurt by the Bible. Some use the Bible as if it were God’s proverbial stick with which the righteous strike others. You’ve perhaps been at the receiving end of such abuse. Let’s call it just what it is – abuse. In our personal histories, we have perhaps seen the Bible used in horrendous ways. In these days, we see televangelists and other public figures use the Bible to justify their political outlooks, or to justify their hatred of people who are not like them. For gay and lesbian people, the Bible has been used to tell us that we aren’t part of God’s kingdom, and that we aren’t worthy of the blood that was spilled by Christ to save us. We’ve been told that we are an abomination, a perversion, and not even worthy of the flesh and bones of which we’ve been made. I acknowledge that, I’ve felt that, and I know you have too.

This kind of abuse causes a lot of hurt. I know it does because I’ve seen it. I’ve seen countless Christian young men lose their faith on the basis of two or three Bible verses. I have personal experience of how deep and how painful that abuse can be. But this is where we reach a crossing point. What do we do with that pain, with that abuse, with that hurt that lies deep within our hearts? Many choose to simply ignore the problem by either excising those difficult passages from their reading of Scripture, some simply choose to throw their Bibles in the trash (proverbially if not physically). But do we have to do that? Well, let me offer some reasons why you and I need to process this.

The Anger that Poisons

A lot of us have a deep-seated anger that I believe is misdirected. We often direct our anger at the abuse we have received towards the book and not the person using the Book. We often wonder how the Bible could contain something that says God doesn’t love us. We think that the Bible must be wrong because it says such and such. But is it? Or is it the person who is telling you wrong? This kind of anger exists in all of us. I know this and I acknowledge the anger that I have. The problem is a lot of us have not let God have this anger.

Just as in any situation, when we leave anger to its devices it poisons us. It poisons our thinking and our perspective. For many of us, the stories of the Bible used to evoke awe and wonder. When we heard about Noah’s ark and how Noah got all those animals into the boat. Wasn’t that a wonderful story? Nowadays in our anger towards the Bible, we often take extraordinary steps to deconstruct and demythologize it until that feeling of awe goes away. We try to dismantle the beauty of it to unearth its hidden wrongs. This isn’t to say that critical study of the Bible is not a good thing. This is to say that sometimes we go so far out of our anger and our own spite, not out of a desire to understand what God is saying to us. So, we need to let go of our anger. We need to let go of any pain and suffering.

Doing the Business of Forgiveness …

Forgiveness is one of the central virtues of Christian faith. God so loved the world that he forgave our sins by sending his Son Jesus to die on the Cross. We as his disciples are expected to forgive others just as we are forgiven. But forgiveness is hard because of the business required. Forgiveness means nothing to us or the offender if the offender doesn’t know that he or she did something wrong. I urge you to find out if you can associate a name of someone who hurt you with scripture and do business with this person. Tell them that you feel you have been wronged and that you were hurt by what they did. They may not respect that, they may try to argue, but you’ve done your business. Forgive, give it to God and don’t take it back. If you can’t do this, maybe you can write down some of the ways you’ve been abused by scripture and burn the paper as a symbol of letting it go. The point is you need to do something to let it go and start again.

Once you’ve done this, it’s time to get reacquainted with the Book that has been used to hurt you the most and begin again to journey in the depths of its wisdom. The business of forgiveness helps us to revitalize ourselves and refresh our understanding. We can again pick up the Bible and get benefits from it and allow God to speak anew in our lives. We can engage its wonderful stories with awe again and appreciate the wisdom that God has to share with us. Doesn’t that sound good? Doesn’t encountering God’s word preserved for us sound like an awesome adventure? Well it’s about time.

Getting Back to What the Word Is …

First, let’s get back to what the Bible is, what it really is. No I’m not going to talk about history or anything like that. I am going to talk about the significance of the Bible. What it means that it exists, and what we believe about it. Let’s go back to our Anglican roots. The Articles of Religion say:

“Holy Scripture containeth all things necessary to salvation: so that whatsoever is not read therein, nor may be proved thereby, is not to be required of any man, that it should be believed as an article of the Faith, or be thought requisite or necessary to salvation.”
Articles of Religion VI (Book of Common Prayer Page 869)

Also, let’s read what the 1979 Book of Common Prayer Catechism says:

“Q. Why do we call the Holy Scriptures the Word of God?
A. We call them the Word of God because God inspired their human authors and because God still speaks to us through the Bible.
Q. How do we understand the meaning of the Bible?
A. We understand the meaning of the Bible by the help of the Holy Spirit, who guides the Church in the true interpretation of the Scriptures.”
Book of Common Prayer, Page 853 – 854

There are some important nuggets of information here. First of all, the Holy Bible is the Word of God. This is not to say that it is the literal, hand written word of God, but it is an acknowledgment of the fact that God inspired the authors of the scriptures. Second, we understand that the Bible is the ultimate rule of faith for a Christian. The Articles of Faith say: “Holy Scripture contains all things necessary to salvation”, Article VI. Third, we also understand that the Bible is one of God’s ways of speaking to us today. So the Bible is very significant to us as Anglicans.

Our tradition emphasizes that the Bible needs to be interpreted. We have to remember that the Bible is not a mere collection of 31,101 handy and nifty proverbs and legal proofs for why you should do this or that in your life organized into 66 handy little books. We have to remember that the Bible is our Church’s accepted record of God’s interactions with his chosen people from the perspective of His people. We often find that some of the interactions we read about in the Bible closely mimic those that we have in our own lives. We find that the Bible has some nugget of wisdom for us in the form of a story, a proverb, or a song when we interpret it and understand it. But the first step is to pick up the Bible and to look at its pages again, not as a disinterested scholar, or a rabid critic, but as a Christian. So let’s talk about how we can do that.

Getting Your Feet Wet

The first question is do you have a Bible that is accessible to you? Is there one you can pull off your shelf and dust off? Not sure if this is not going to work and don’t want to spend money on a Bible? There are plenty of resources to get a free Bible. It’s time for you to read the Bible again.

It’s important to get your feet wet and to just encounter the stories again. It’s like catching up with an old friend you haven’t seen for a while. You just have to listen to the stories again, and learn about that friend slowly but surely. So, it’s my suggestion that after you read this article, you go get your closest Bible and read the Gospel of Mark (that’s the second book of the New Testament). It’s a quick read and if you’re a voracious reader, there’s nothing that prevents you from reading this in a couple of hours. Don’t analyze, don’t criticize, just read it. Get to know Jesus again, or if you don’t know him – for the very first time. After this, you might try another Gospel or the Acts of the Apostles. Later on, we’ll have an article of how you can study the Bible easily and some ways you can think about the wisdom that the Bible shares.

In Closing …

I hope that this article has been an exercise in understanding, forgiveness, and healing for all of us. I hope that you can begin the healing process and truly begin to love the word of God again. It’s such a precious resource for us in our lives and Disciples. We are meant to use it, to peer into its pages for insight and to hear the Lord speak to us. Many blessings on your journey with Jesus. May God bless you!

Taking the Plunge for the Lord

This week is one of those weeks ... the Lord is back at it again and is tugging on the strings of my heart. Now, it's harder and stronger than ever before. There seems to be a lot of resistance to me going to Fuller Seminary from different places. Some people are hesitant because it is a conservative seminary, others because it's not an ivory tower Episcopal seminary. But you know, when the Lord calls you to serve, you can do nothing but. The Lord is calling me to discernment and to prayer about me. I've spent a lot of time praying for others and their welfare, but now it's time for me to really reach back inside and listen to the Lord. So it's happening. I just wrote another six essays for the Fuller admissions process and this caused some serious reflection to happen again, especially because one of the questions was about my call to the ministry.
And here comes the crux of the dilemma (and unfortunately, this is something that would almost be unique to the Episcopalians) ... I discern that I am called to pastor but not necessarily to be a Priest. I don't expect anyone to really understand this, because even for Episcopalians this seems paradoxical. Nonetheless - it's my question now. Ugh, sometimes you wonder about the risks and about all the time and money this is going to cost, but then I hearken back to what the Lord says "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me." (Mt. 16:24). I have to remember that as a Disciple, the Lord demands nothing less than total obedience to Him. So, I did it.
Yesterday, applications were submitted to Fuller Theological Seminary and we are just pending one more recommendation letter, and the transcripts are on their way from the colleges I went to. Now I'm writing my Cohort application. I can do no less. Yes, this is not complying with the bureaucracy of the Commission on Ministry, nor is this a hoity toity Episcopal seminary, but the Lord calls and I can do nothing but answer the Call to Serve. I sense that my calling is to pastor GLBT people and witness to them of the redeeming and transforming power of the Gospel. I can't help but cry in adoration and worship the Lord when I hear God's call on such an unworthy sinful servant like me.

Hearing the Lord ... (reflections on Summer)

You know, God really is an interesting character, especially in the lives of those he has called out to serve Him and His people. The reason I say this is that the last three months have really been an experiment in surrender. I left EfM (that's my Education for Ministry class at Trinity) in May thinking that I would just get through my summer reading and go back to another fruitful and enjoyable year at EfM with friends. I had picked out a set largely composed of Benedict XVI's theology and some other mixed theological books. I managed to finish one, N.T. Wright's Surprised by Hope (incidentally, this is a great book!).

Well, things changed ... a lot. I was off to pick up Barry at the Airport. I realized that I might have to wait a bit because his flight was delayed. So I went to Borders and picked up a Christianity Today. For me, this was an odd choice at the time, but I figured I needed reading material. So I read it and things really started to move. My interest piqued in Evangelical theology and in going to Seminary. That familiar tug came again from God for me to really listen up because He's up to something. Well, as it turns out, He is. After reading the magazine, I saw an ad for Seminary and that I needed to find out about doing some of this online.

Don't get me wrong, my EfM group is something that I value and consists of people that I love and care for, but it isn't providing me with the academic rigor I need. I wanted to go somewhere where I would be challenged, indeed pushed to learn Greek and Hebrew and to do exegesis and learn Systematics and really be pushed to understand my faith and how I might articulate it to a hurting world. But I didn't want to attend a prototypical "Episcopal Seminary". I understand that folks are finding new approaches to faith, but that's not me. The prototypical Episcopalian loves John Spong and Living the Questions, worshiping Mother Earth and all this Enriching our Worship business. That's not me. No, I'm more of a John Stott, N.T. Wright with an Oxford Movement twist. I'm willing to be part of a big tent, but I'm not willing to trash what I consider fundamental values.

So, the Lord shines the light onto Fuller Seminary, which incidentally has a Southwest campus here in Phoenix that I can go to. Oy ... well it looks like based on the research that Fuller has a good reputation among all denominations although it does scare the living sh*t out of mainliners. Which is a good thing, because I scare the living sh*t out of mainliners anyway. Why? Well it's that whole evangelical business, no I'm not some crazy fundamentalist out with "God hates progressives" signs, no, it's that I am really conversionistic, crucicentric and biblicentric. That is I preach and believe in a theology of the Cross - that Jesus died for our sins and that we are washed in his blood. Also I believe in the authority of scripture, something that is now passé among modern theologians. Also my conversionism bugs people, because I believe that real Christian faith shows in people, and that conversion is a natural and indeed necessary part of Christian conversion.

So the Lord speaks and I listen ... and the call just gets stronger. I have a call to preach to and serve young adults and gays and lesbians ... wow. I sometimes feel like I don't know how I'm supposed to do all these things, when I remember that really, that's the Holy Spirit's business. So I'm just going with the flow, learning Biblical Greek and Hebrew, and getting ready for my admissions essays. This experience of letting God take the reins is really scary, yet it is surprisingly comforting. It really is being someplace on "the Way". Lord Jesus, only you know where I am on the Way, help me to know your Will and serve you and only you Jesus.

Just a Prayer

I know, it's off genre, but it just came to me


Heavenly Father,
I know you're there and you're listening. I thank you for everything you've done for me.
I know you love me, but I don't have the slightest idea why. All that I know is that I'm loved. You're so crazy in love with your people, so much so that you sent your only son to die on the cross for us. Lord, let us never forget that fact, let us dwell in that image of your love, a love that is so boundless and encompassing that we couldn't conceive of it ourselves. In your love and mercy, guide us your disciples through these troubled times and help us to discern Your will, help us to walk always humbly with you. Let your Word be a lamp for our path.

Hear us today, and bless us with your mercy

I pray Lord in the greatest name that is ab ove all names,
Jesus

Amen.