Hearing the Lord ... (reflections on Summer)

You know, God really is an interesting character, especially in the lives of those he has called out to serve Him and His people. The reason I say this is that the last three months have really been an experiment in surrender. I left EfM (that's my Education for Ministry class at Trinity) in May thinking that I would just get through my summer reading and go back to another fruitful and enjoyable year at EfM with friends. I had picked out a set largely composed of Benedict XVI's theology and some other mixed theological books. I managed to finish one, N.T. Wright's Surprised by Hope (incidentally, this is a great book!).

Well, things changed ... a lot. I was off to pick up Barry at the Airport. I realized that I might have to wait a bit because his flight was delayed. So I went to Borders and picked up a Christianity Today. For me, this was an odd choice at the time, but I figured I needed reading material. So I read it and things really started to move. My interest piqued in Evangelical theology and in going to Seminary. That familiar tug came again from God for me to really listen up because He's up to something. Well, as it turns out, He is. After reading the magazine, I saw an ad for Seminary and that I needed to find out about doing some of this online.

Don't get me wrong, my EfM group is something that I value and consists of people that I love and care for, but it isn't providing me with the academic rigor I need. I wanted to go somewhere where I would be challenged, indeed pushed to learn Greek and Hebrew and to do exegesis and learn Systematics and really be pushed to understand my faith and how I might articulate it to a hurting world. But I didn't want to attend a prototypical "Episcopal Seminary". I understand that folks are finding new approaches to faith, but that's not me. The prototypical Episcopalian loves John Spong and Living the Questions, worshiping Mother Earth and all this Enriching our Worship business. That's not me. No, I'm more of a John Stott, N.T. Wright with an Oxford Movement twist. I'm willing to be part of a big tent, but I'm not willing to trash what I consider fundamental values.

So, the Lord shines the light onto Fuller Seminary, which incidentally has a Southwest campus here in Phoenix that I can go to. Oy ... well it looks like based on the research that Fuller has a good reputation among all denominations although it does scare the living sh*t out of mainliners. Which is a good thing, because I scare the living sh*t out of mainliners anyway. Why? Well it's that whole evangelical business, no I'm not some crazy fundamentalist out with "God hates progressives" signs, no, it's that I am really conversionistic, crucicentric and biblicentric. That is I preach and believe in a theology of the Cross - that Jesus died for our sins and that we are washed in his blood. Also I believe in the authority of scripture, something that is now passé among modern theologians. Also my conversionism bugs people, because I believe that real Christian faith shows in people, and that conversion is a natural and indeed necessary part of Christian conversion.

So the Lord speaks and I listen ... and the call just gets stronger. I have a call to preach to and serve young adults and gays and lesbians ... wow. I sometimes feel like I don't know how I'm supposed to do all these things, when I remember that really, that's the Holy Spirit's business. So I'm just going with the flow, learning Biblical Greek and Hebrew, and getting ready for my admissions essays. This experience of letting God take the reins is really scary, yet it is surprisingly comforting. It really is being someplace on "the Way". Lord Jesus, only you know where I am on the Way, help me to know your Will and serve you and only you Jesus.